Since opening this blog, I have gotten shed some information about myself but I have yet to get "deep". You can mark this post as the one in which Alex goes deep. :)
As a baby, I was baptized into the Catholic faith in my home parish and have been going to church there ever since. Well, ever since I moved to San Diego a week and a half ago. I spent 17 years and 11 months there- more than I have ever been anywhere else. When I was a tween and pre-teen (ages 11-15) I absolutely abhorred going to church. Hated it. So much, that I would pretend to sleep when my dad woke me up for mass. So much that I would pretend to be sick and cry until he left so I could go back to sleep. However, more times than not, I hauled myself out of bed and sulked all the way through mass. When I resided at my mom's house, she never really minded. It was my choice if I went to mass or not and I loved it! I felt like I was free and could do what I wanted. So, in that case, I hardly ever went when I was at her house.
About two years ago or so, I started to really feel a change in my attitude towards church. I started enjoying it and getting up every Sunday morning to attend. I felt appreciative for the opportunity to go and really took advantage of going. However, there's only so much one can do by going to mass one time per week. That's really all I did- one hour a week focusing on God, and the other 167 hours of the week were "me" time. Me, me, me.
That's when this beautiful lady jumped into my life. This gorgeous Jesus-freak from Southern California, E, came in a little over a year ago to take over the Youth Ministry program at my hometown church. Before she arrived, I was involved a bit with Youth Ministry. I was on the leadership team and led a retreat or two, but I never really felt it like I probably should have. Boy oh boy, did E change that!
I was a little hesitant when E stepped foot in our Youth Room for the first time as Youth Minister. I had already gone through a lot of change and disappointment in the years before that, the last thing I wanted was change in my church. It had also been quite a while since a woman led our youth program. Oh man, was I wrong. E has been the best thing that ever happened to me. Although, if I say that she will only say, "It's not me, it's God working through me!" Which is true, by the way. But how great is that? Amazing.
E and I have had many, many hearty conversations and it has felt so good to open up to her over the last year. I was blessed beyond measure to lead three of the retreats that she held last school year and shared at all three of them. It was then that I actually started feeling the Lord move inside of me and I suddenly became conscious of the fact that He really is with us all.the.time. I cannot even imagine where I would be without E and all her prayers, teachings, stories, etc. I love her dearly!!!
Life in Christ (LinC) retreat leaders 2010
With that being said, the move to San Diego for me has been a little bit rough. I absolutely love the college life and the city and everything about it, but I sincerely miss my church back home and all of the youth and adults that go there. They all fill me with such glee and I miss it!!!! I went to church yesterday for the first time here in San Diego and it felt so good to be back (I missed last Sunday, but it felt like an eternity). So good to be back. It was amazing. During mass, I started crying. It was so random... Crying real tears, which is semi-odd for me to do ever let alone in public. I think it was a mixture of missing home and being surrounded by strangers that hit me. I got over it quick! ;) Thank you for everything, E!! I wouldn't be half the person I am today without your guidance.
