May 23, 2011

"Just remember, there is nothing today you and the Lord can't handle together."

Those very words are what sent me on my merry way this morning after attending mass. Perfection. Good thing too...the reminder is always nice.

This morning while fighting with my alarm clock, my dad's number came up on caller ID at my home phone. I instantly knew something was wrong because my parents are divorced and don't speak...he uses my cell phone to get in touch with my brothers or me. Why the house phone? The phone call went something like this:

Dad: "Is your mother there?"
Me: Why would he want my mother? Clearly something is wrong. "No, she is at work."
Dad: "She won't answer her cell phone and I have really awful news that I need to share with her."
Me: Heart starts racing. "What happened?"
Dad: "Sit down. Mark (dad's best friend) called me and told me that Jan (his wife) had a cerebral hemorrhage yesterday afternoon and instantly died."
Me: Tears.
Dad: "I will try your mother again, but please tell her to contact me."

Jan. My mother's college roommate and best friend since then (about 30 years ago). Almost like an aunt to me. Her two boys are both near my brothers' and my own ages--almost like other siblings, but more like cousins. She passed away yesterday afternoon on her way home from Oregon with her mother and sister-in-law and I still cannot believe it. I will never see her again. I can't picture her without a smile plastered across her face or a laugh filling the entire room. She was such a genuine, kind-hearted person and she will be missed greatly. She was also my oldest brother's godmother. Please keep her husband, sons and the rest of her family/friends in your prayers.

Later on today, my own mother found out that a skin biopsy came back cancerous. It isn't a serious issue since it is on her ear and a very small area, but knowing that it is malignant cancer is not exactly encouraging. She will go in for surgery again sometime soon and have more of the skin on her ear removed until only healthy cells remain. After that, she should be back to normal. Just please, please pray. Both of these incidences are enough to send my mom to a crazy house.

But as you go on throughout your days, remember, there is nothing that you and the Lord cannot handle together.

"No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

May 22, 2011

I remember...

...when I said goodbye to all of my friends one afternoon. I never thought life was going to be worth it being separated from them.
...the day I moved into the dorms back in August 2010 and the air conditioning was out, it was at least 95* outside, and I was sweating like a pig.
...when I didn't know anyone except my roommate so we walked around aimlessly and acted like we knew what was going on.
... how I thought SDSU's campus was gigantic and I would never "get" it.
...the moment my mother left me for the last time and I was officially on my own. I felt bad because I wasn't sad or sure how to react since I was pretty independent throughout high school--senior year especially. my roommate cried when her mom left and I then I felt bad for not caring.
...the first weekend of school a (drunk) girl was "stuck" on my floor and kept trying to exit through the emergency door, setting the alarm off numerous times at 3:30 am.
...feeling lonely the first few weeks and especially the first day of school. I had SUCH a strong support system here at home and an awesome group of friends, it was hard to transition to nothing.
...when I met a couple friends from high school for dinner one night. It was really nice to see familiar faces and feel comfortable again.
...trying to navigate my way downtown on public transit on 9/11/10 to meet a lady who I babysit for. Needless to say, I got extremely lost (heading to Mexico), cried HYSTERICALLY for a good 45 minutes, met her for dinner, and then called my roommate to come pick me up. Traumatizing event.
...the day I turned 18 on the 18th. My dad came down to spend the day with me and it was just lovely. At this point I still hadn't bonded with many real friends (it was only the third week) and who wants to spend their 18th alone? Or any birthday, for that matter.
...when tryouts for crew started and my friendships started forming. I will never forget that first bunch of teammates.

...the first month of college...

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